Page 68

8th Jul 2015, 8:00 AM in Zabuza Arc
Page 68
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes)
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Author Notes:

RandomRex6 8th Jul 2015, 8:00 AM edit delete
As we continued to travel down the cave, we found a door that was giving off a bizarre chill. Pip checked the door, and found it wasn't trapped, so the others blundered through. Turns out the room was full of statues that all depicted the same woman, with a single statue in the middle of the room that showed the woman weeping. After the obvious "don't blink" jokes, the DM sprung the real trap. A contained blizzard started up in the room. We got hit hard, but Pip had reduced damage from traps as well, so he was getting out mostly fine. Pip made his way to the weeping statue, which the party quickly determined was the source of the magical trap, and I asked to observe it. Pip had character traits saying he knew a lot of stories about magical items, and the statue was magical, so I figured it would work. The DM hesitated, wondering why a pirate would know anything about something this far inland. I suggested that he might have heard someone in a tavern say something about it during their voyages. After a few 'pirates are a gossipy bunch' jokes, the DM was convinced and wrote me a note. Said note informed me that if the statue was destroyed, it would release a huge amount of ice damage on us all. Not really knowing proper etiquette when it came to notes, I simply yelled to the others, "Don't destroy the statue!" The Barbarian, blatantly trying to contradict me, responded "What was that? Destroy the statue?" With one last swing, as the group had been attacking the thing for a while now, the statue was reduced to rubble and the party got hit hard. No one was hurt too terribly, but I was understandably upset. The DM, being an English Major, informed us that the statue was dedicated to "The Lost Lenore". Pip was understandably standoffish for the remainder of the session.

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Comments:

kidra 8th Jul 2015, 8:21 AM edit delete reply
kidra
I actually made a boss based on the weeping angels. Best dungeon I made in my opinion.
Enyalius 8th Jul 2015, 11:33 AM edit delete reply
I don't know if I should congratulate you or curse you for something like that... so I'll stick with a thumbs up.
Darkening 8th Jul 2015, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
That sounds awesome. Got the stats for it?
kidra 8th Jul 2015, 7:57 PM edit delete reply
kidra
Not anymore. I think I based most of it off of a gargoyle since they were a pretty low level.
Raxon 8th Jul 2015, 10:48 PM edit delete reply
Raxon
You want a game based off the SCP Foundation. This predates the weeping angels.

This is a place filled with strange, wonderful, and horrifying things. Check it out, this stuff makes the tomb of horrors look like a session of Toon.
LostDeviljho 10th Jul 2015, 1:55 AM edit delete reply
point one: you plot has been pretty good so far, keep it up.

point two: I don't know whether it's the source images or whatever photo-manipulation program you're using, but the lines in a lot of frames look horribly choppy and jagged. might wanna see what you can do about that.

point three: if you're changing the image size, always have both the height and width be proportional. crop if necessary, but don't just stretch out an image sideways to fill the space. that scene where Naruto stabbed himself with a kunai? he looked like he was using a SHOVEL because of exactly that.

point four: speech bubbles, specifically the tails on said speech bubbles, do. not. need. to. start. directly. at. the mouth.
all they need to do is indicate clearly who it is speaking. It's perfectly fine to have the tail point toward and end at the back of someone's head.
but it should never, EVER, be so long that it cuts through a third of the panel, just so it can start directly at the mouth.
also, don't overuse the connection between bubbles. you're using colored text to indicate who's speaking, and your placement of the bubbles should indicate in what order. I'm not saying connecting speech bubbles is a BAD thing, but when there's a page during the bell test that is more "web of speech bubbles" than actual comic panels, something has gone wrong.


all in all, there are a few issues, but you're just starting out, so that's to be expected. there's promise, and you'll improve with time.
hopefully my constructive criticism helps.
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