Page 70

12th Jul 2015, 8:00 AM in Zabuza Arc
Page 70
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RandomRex6 12th Jul 2015, 8:00 AM edit delete
Duke Harris was way above our paygrade, and we were getting stomped. The room was shaped like a triangle, and most of the combat was on one side of the room. I made a point of getting on the other side as quickly as possible, which isn't that quick for a Rock Gnome. My hope was that I could run to the other side of the room without Duke Harris even noticing, but it was quickly becoming clear that that wasn't going to work. But then, I got an idea. A horrible, horrible idea. The rest of the party asked why I was running from the fight, and I declared to them that I had a plan, but I wouldn't be able to set it into motion until my next turn. So I waited.

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Foolish 12th Jul 2015, 9:09 AM edit delete reply
Good idea, Cathy.
Raxon 12th Jul 2015, 1:45 PM edit delete reply
Now sew the caltrops into your clothes and hug him!
Enyalius 12th Jul 2015, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
Would her armor be treated as studded leather at that point, or would it just be a minor modification?
Raxon 12th Jul 2015, 11:21 PM edit delete reply
Modified. Studded armor doesn't automatically deal damage when you hug a puppy.
FanOfMostEverything 13th Jul 2015, 6:43 AM edit delete reply
I'd rule that they're armor spikes at that point.
Snowtwo 13th Jul 2015, 2:16 AM edit delete reply
It always baffled me how people rely on straight-up punching and combat in fights instead of employing things like Caltrops. Sure, if I got into a fight I'd prefer a legit weapon, but if I had the time to prep I'd rig the hell out of the ground. That way they always have to be careful while I can move freely and they might even hurt themselves!
Raxon 13th Jul 2015, 3:37 AM edit delete reply
In a modern game, we had basically unlimited access to a military munitions dump. I created what was deemed a "war crime in training" as I basically nuked five square miles of enemy territory.

See, I spent two months burying remote bombs near an enemy stronghold. Too heavily fortified. So I proceeded to troll the hell out of them. When the bombs were all planted, there was 5 kilos of C4 buried every 5 meters in a huge, huge grid. Yep, a few tons of C4 there.

The problem was, how do I lure them out of their stronghold? This was something I had been struggling with. These were not ideological terrorists, I couldn't lure them out something offensive. Also, I needed to get a lot of them out at once.

Then, I got an idea. An evil, evil idea. I took something I saw somewhere in an anime, and decided screw it! I'm gonna scare these assholes into a fight!

Their scout patrols began to see some disturbing things. Dead animals with ritualistic mutilations, the bones of children, and a live skinned horse, running around, randomly attacking their patrols. Yeah, they got scared. Then came the fun part!

I decided to crank up the horror factor, and tranqed one of their patrols. They were sent back, heavily drugged. I had drugged them and skinned them, and swapped their skins. They were so doped up when they arrived, they had no idea. They died, but holy hell was the whole base angry and scared. They were dealing with some kind of insane psychopath!

Then came the fun part. I sent an old woman to their gates to beg for money. The woman's clothes were covered in a lethal poison. When she was ejected, the two men died. The old woman died, and I made a motorized, horrifying, moving art sculpture outside their gates. Then I did something similar to the corpses of some nearby orphans, rigging their arms to stay pointing straight out, then cutting off their arms and the elbow and motorizing them so the kids would "crawl" up to the base. Then recorders on them would begin begging the soldiers inside, "Save us, save us! Please kill us!"

After six months of escalating this show of horror, I began to let them see me. Dressed in all black, with a pure white, featureless mask. At one point, a patrol was returning, they were within sight of the base, then they stepped into my snares, and were dragged, kicking and screaming, into the jungle. They were found the next morning, leaning against the gates. They noticed they weren't moving, but they brought them inside. Their eyes, noses, and mouths were sewn shut. They proceeded to cut the thread, releasing cockroaches. Thousands of them. I had skinned them, sewn the skin hack together, and then filled the skinsuits with roaches.

I pulled out all the stops. We had to stop a few times for breathers after I described some of the displays of horror.

Well, the last straw came when I began amassing an army in that area in view of their towers. The same place my C4 was buried. I called them up on the radio, and told them I was the hell maker. I gloated over their terror, and said they couldn't do a damn thing, they were so scared of me. I taunted them, telling them that me and all my buddies were going to have a game of paintball, right there in their territory, and they were such pussies, they didn't have the balls to tell us no.

This pissed them off to no end. In short order, they sent their full combat force to completely wipe us off the face of the Earth. Then, I, far away, pushed a button, nuking a small local village folks, along the the enemy's full force.

I'm sure you can appreciate the look on everyone else's faces when they heard me say, "I push the button, and blow up the whole field."

I love playing evil characters, don't you?
Horrified Bystander 13th Jul 2015, 4:26 AM edit delete reply
Even for an evil character that's over the top, unimaginably cruel, and brutally inefficient. It's whata caricature of an evil person would do, not someone actually evil. Raxon, you seem like a That Guy.
Raxon 13th Jul 2015, 4:52 PM edit delete reply
My inspiration was an episode of GiTS where they hunt this serial killer who cuts the skin off his victims' torsos. And then I went full psychopath. It was glorious.
RandomRex6 13th Jul 2015, 6:36 PM edit delete reply
And I've been worried about making Orochimaru too offensive...
Yuko Hoon 14th Jul 2015, 12:57 AM edit delete reply
Yuko Hoon
That's Raxon for you
Raxon 14th Jul 2015, 1:19 AM edit delete reply
To be fair, the character was a deranged psychopath. Human life had no value to him. The most plentiful resource was the local natives. And cockroaches. The GM mentioned cockroaches in practically every other sentence. He gave me the idea for the human skin roach sacks.

The task I was given was to take out their forces. No respect for human life, plus a goal of scaring the hell out of the enemy in wartime with nobody else around to question or even oversee my methods equals basically a six month long horror movie.

The GM asked if anyone wanted to play an evil character before the game started. I jumped at the chance. They were probably expecting me to kill some civilians, or execute prisoners, or other morally objectionable things.

They were not expecting me to turn it into effing Call of Cthulhu. Did I mention Private Kilkenny Andarest was an avid horror movie lover?

Anyway, yeah. If you ask me to make him "as evil as you possibly can", you damn well better be ready for one evil son of a Sakura!
Enyalius 17th Jul 2015, 11:38 PM edit delete reply
Whelp.... There are my nightmares for the week, thanks Raxon.
Solokov 15th Jul 2015, 12:35 AM edit delete reply
And once again... words have failed me because of a raxon post...
Ggg 6th Aug 2017, 9:33 PM edit delete reply
Radon you are quite officially my favorite troll in all the internets
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